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Angel Wings and Guitar StringsA face I love is missing.
A voice I love is still.
A place is vacant in my heart that no one will ever fill.
Many things have happened.
Many things have changed, but how much I love and miss you, will always stay the same.
Those we love don't go away, they walk beside us everyday.
Unseen, unheard, but always near.
Still loved, still missed, and still so dear.
Time may hide the sadness, like a smile that hides the tears.
But precious memories of you will never fade, despite the passing years.
A beautiful life came to a sudden end.
You died as you lived, everyones friend.
You were always thoughtful, loving and kind.
What precious memories you left behind.
You left me suddenly, thoughts unknown.
But you blessed me with memories I'm proud to own.
Wrong?Why can I do no right?
Why is it that i've lost this fight
Between dark and light, between day and night.
I've lost track of which is which, perhaps they have begun to switch,
Love is hate, hate is love
What once was pure now runs with blood.
Snakes writhe in the place of the dove,
God is laid to rest
As the Devil rises above.
AddictionA shot to kill the pain.
A pill to drain the shame.
A drink to forget your name.
A purge to stop the gain.
A cut to break the vein.
Anything to numb the brain.
An addiction's, an addiction,
It all hurts the same
Dear TherapistYou stare at me, pity overflowing from your eyes
But you don't even know what will be my demise
You do your best, but you'll never understand
I'm broken beyond repair, you can't hold my hand
You can't guide me through this shattered life
The only help I have is the knife
DamnI love him
But he doesn't love me
Nothing like a Shakespearian tragedy
No award winning play in which to spout my angst
No, I don't measure up in the ranks
No glamour or glitter, save the whistles and bells
I'm just a girl, who kissed a boy, who's in love with someone else
Angel WingsA face I love is missing
A voice I love is still
A place is vacant in my heart that no one will ever fill
Many things have happened
Many things have changed
But how much I love and miss you will always stay the same
Those we love don't fade away, they walk beside us everyday
But always near
And still so dear
Time may hide the sadness like a smile that hides the tears
But precious memories of you will never fade
Despite the passing years
A beautiful life came to a sudden end
You died as you lived, everyone's friend
You were always thoughtful, loving, and kind
What special memories you left behind
You left me suddenly, thoughts unknown
But you gave me memories i'm proud to own
FallenA girl sits all alone
Wings folded on her back
She sits upon a thunder cloud
The night time sky is black
The girl cries an angel's tears
That fall to ground below
And become rain upon a barren field
Where plants no longer grow
The girl looks up to heavens peak
And waves her last goodbye
With broken wings she falls to earth
She knows she cannot fly
Rantings of a LunaticWanted: Prince Charming, must be able to slay dragons, and fight the monsters under my bed and in my heart.
I don't know what the point of anything is anymore. We die to live, we live to die. I don't understand. Maybe ignorance is bliss, the more you think the more depressed, sad and destroyed it makes you. At this moment i'm suffocating. In my own blood. Held by monsters, unable to escape. The past is a rather vile thing is it not? This will never work out. Everything ends the same. I guess i'm insane. The definition? "Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result". Always. Over and over, rinse and repeat. I wish someone could rescue me from my own thoughts right now. They never understand; I don't need protection from you, I just need protection from myself. Protection from the knife I hold in my hand. Is it really the monsters holding me back? I guess logically this could just be considered a state of mind.
I Tear My Skin AwayI Tear My Skin Away
I tear this skin from my body,
Even if the world screams,
That I am only an illusion.
I tear the bones from my legs,
Through pain, I will grow,
Through suffering, I will become.
I rip the muscles from my arms,
These teeth from my jaws...
And with nothing upon me,
I carry on...
Like a broken puppet, still shivering,
Still forcing its way through the darkness;
I tremble for I am nothing...
And yet, I am moving. My voice still screams...
I draw breath into these tired lungs,
As I rip the flesh away...
And I shatter these mirrors before me,
With a voice that will not break:
Because the world cannot label me as nothing,
And I will live for my own sake!
"So tell me, is that all the pain you've got for me?"
I screamMy scream is loud.
My scream is honest.
My scream is desperate.
My scream is filled with truth.
Why would nobody hear me?
dearly belovedthese days
your name has been slipping
in and out of my rib cage
my heart forgets to beat.
how even after all these months i still
don't want to believe that
you're dead. how during the
first couple of weeks i prayed
to a god i didn't believe in and begged to know
if death tasted sweet to you. how once,
when the monsters in my head
didn't let me sleep, i
wrote you three poems and then
you were a supernova that
lit up my life for
a few radiant moments before,
like all good things in this
you came to an end.
the sinner in me hopes that you have wings now.
but i think that,
most of all,
i hope you no longer
remember what pain
Those Green Eyes (Or: Don't Lie to Your Kid)Those green eyes -
The green of joy
The green of hope
The green of love and acceptance -
Were always full of lies.
They first lied when I said,
After a nightmare at four am
When I was too small to reach a light switch,
“Will you ever leave me?”
And those eyes said,
Why did those green eyes
Shut when I needed them most?
"Are you okay?"
Would be a red line
That I would etch into myself
Those green eyes melted.
Those green eyes did shine
And I knew what it was -
I was young, not stupid -
But I indulged the lie,
For those green eyes.
"Will it get better?"
I asked one sunny Saturday
At ten in the morning
And those green eyes looked away;
“And you’ll be here forever?”
There were no words.
I made up my own affirmative.
Those green eyes -
When they saw
How I’d rubbed myself raw
notes on a matchbook love.if I were the type
to say how I really felt,
I'd tell you that
I hope you choke on your apologies
like they're arsenic
and your nails are already
with the poison.
I'd let you know
that I'll never be a body
for you to touch
just because I know that's all you want.
I'll never be a fairy in a bottle
at your waist.
this is no storybook, and
I am no myth.
hear my silence,
feel the cold absence
respond to your weak "I'm sorry"s.
I beg you,
stop digging the hole,
stop, just stop.
Hush and watch the flames
engulf the image you sold me.
you can tell me
I'm beautiful as much
as you want,
but I know that it's not enough,
that you'll always want more,
that you've been a wolf
between my legs all this time
and my fingers are bruised
from holding the leash.
now every time you whisper
"please be okay",
I will always tell you that
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I will forever pretend
that I've grown up from you,
that I've become a mystery
Wrists.Wrists are not made,
To be cut up by cold blades.
Blood was meant to stay in your veins,
Not to be drained.
From your body,
You're stronger than that,
I know a person can only take,
Until they break.
And you have your doubts,
And when you lay in bed,
The pain is all you think about.
But you're so much more,
Than your heart aches.
So much more,
Than your demons.
Even if you feel,
Like your dying,
And you are through with trying,
Because all you've been doing lately is crying.
I want you to know,
That no, you're not alone.
And you re going to survive.
Please just drop your knife,
Because you're going to,
Make it out alive.
words, wonderlight has faded and words are heavy,
but there is a delicate magic
twisting between your fingers.
it is all a-scribble
melisma without music;
syllables stitching terra firma
to firmament in intricate
stanzas that require
neither breath nor sound
to echo, infinite,
within the depths
of susurrous souls.
it is cold and it is dark,
but there is a fire in you
and you use it with a fierce grace
that illuminates the shadows,
and ignites the demons
until not even the grey spaces
that haunt and harry
can hold dominion.
they are exposed
they are broken
into shards of sunrise
and rays of a quiet
you scare away the night
with exhalations that blow
away the fogged emptiness
inside, over and over,
sparking fireworks from
what was thought
to be ash.
Featherweight HeavyFeatherweight Heavy
this is how you witness love unfold
and bloom into something bigger
than rafflesia. something bigger
than the whispers
that stay huddled underneath bed sheets
stained with teenage curiosity.
bigger than the edges of coffee mugs
that hold affection
at the bottom of the cup like sugar
with your morning lover.
bigger than the sticky kisses
of his baby girl pecking her daddy’s cheek
for the first time.
it’s the love of two kindred spirits
that hover miles upon miles away
but are interconnected through
some magical, mystical,
whether it is through
a similar rhythm in pulsation
or akin ink that stains our fingertips.
love unfolds and blooms
when the rain is a thunderstorm
and it stands tall in the eye,
even if it stares down the petals.
i have come to hold in my hands
that we all fall.
even empires, even kings, queens.
even a wisdom of a god.
new civilizations born under
the weight of featherweight heavy.
death is light but ends are anv
Dear GodDear God,
Would you extend your holy hand to save a wretch like me? Would you bow your graceful head for someone who wants to believe? Would you bat an eye if I lay my life at your feet? Or are the hallowed halls of your domain only for the elite? Would you light up the sky if I asked for a sign? Can you spare any love for someone of my kind? I'm done with this life, praying it gets better after. I crave to trade in my tears for laughter. It's a lot to ask, in fact I don't know how I dared...but honestly, I'm just scared. I'm one of the many, who never prayed till I fell. I've never believed in heaven, but I know I'm going to hell.
Love, a depressed athiest
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More